What am I protecting when I startle, rudely ignoring an intruder into my thoughts?
It causes me a lot of problems around here.
Sshhhh I say!
Leave me alone. Quiet! - and often crumpled I sense my inner life wisp away down the plughole of thoughts. The vibrant colours turn pastel and are gone.
Nothing there.
I am left to merge into those around me, lost in their thoughts, feelings, lives.
Why can't I hold on to my precious spark in these moments?
Oneness sure, I like that, but not a Oneness that is wholly you you you!
(not that you take centre stage but that I put you there and scurry into the shadows)
What I give and what I hear from you makes the Oneness, the whole moment.
Yet when I sense the loss of me I shut off from what you are sharing
And there is only left anger, regret, stubbornness.
So to keep my spark alight I need to check in with a lucidity of consciousness.
So that I am not in my prison but am shining outwards,
When interrupted I can finish my thought or express it or see the colour of its flame stay steady as I listen.
The thought is where I am, and where I am is sacred.
I can welcome others into that place, it is safe.
And I can laugh, thank heavens, I can laugh.
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